A Day In The Life Of A Firmware Engineer

11am: Arrive at work, check out crack pipe from inventory
11:05am – noon: Read online forums, cackle at victims; crack pipe
Noon – 1pm: Read latest standards documents; write code that is in technical compliance but to any sane observer appears screamingly inept, baroque, buggy, unusable and downright dangerous
1pm – 2pm: Lunch with friend from International Tax Code Writers’ Union; compare notes
2pm – 3pm: Review usability testing results; remove all discovered usability
3pm – 3:30pm: Bonghits
3:30pm – 4:00pm: Reading – “Transparency, The Apple Way (S. Jobs)”
4:00pm – 4:30pm: Notice latest production firmware code does not include enough potential bricking bugs; run random bug generator
4:30pm – 5:00pm: Notice company has minor hardware revision upcoming; write entirely new firmware implementation for it for no apparent reason
5:00pm: Home, with a warm fuzzy feeling of achievement
5:30pm – 11:30pm: Tease dog by pretending to throw ball
11:35pm: Watch Leno

6 Responses

  1. emmet.curran
    emmet.curran May 4, 2013 at 3:08 am | | Reply

    See that crazy man across the street watching you right now? He’s a firmware engineer.

    Run, Adam. Run

  2. Leslie Satenstein
    Leslie Satenstein May 4, 2013 at 4:55 pm | | Reply

    You forgot the time delayed and time dependent bug that randomly fails on even numbered days.

  3. Wes
    Wes May 4, 2013 at 4:56 pm | | Reply

    I was believing it until the “Leno” part..

  4. seem
    seem May 7, 2013 at 10:10 am | | Reply

    He forgot to pack it into random cab file to prevent accidental extracking by someone who only needs *usb and *inf without Yahoo toolbar and product registration.

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